the sunset i wanna watch with you,baby

hiie. these few days noe mood for everythingy. have alot of things in mind that could not be solved..yesterday my house was in chaos in the night.parents quarrelling just because of a stupid small matter.haixx.like iie have said, the world has never been peaceful in my life.anyway it has happen so many times.i'm used to it already.iie was moody the whole of yesterday and iie thought tat maybe when iie goes home iie would be back to normal.but in the end...iie am feeling even worse.iie really wished tat iie did not go home yesterday.really duo feeling like thinking of anything.iie am just feeling so terrible.feel like sleeping every single day and not getting up forever.when iie am asleep, iie forget every single thing but when iie am awake every thing comes to my mind.even things that iie hope not to remember comes to my mind.its going to explode sooner or later.feel like crying but the tears just couldnt come out.or maybe it has already been used up long ago.going to band makes miie even miserable..cant blow.just dunno what has happen.just now practice for so long but nothing came out.not even a single sound.iie felt so fake in band. noe sound comes out but iie have to pretend tat theres sound.just sitting there doing only fingering.really feel like crying.actually duo wanna go band.but iie did not have any reason to say. what am iie going to say if they ask why iie didnt come?how am iie going to tell them?iie myself also duo know why iie just cant blow.will they believe?they will think tat i just wanna slack.really feeling so miserable.it is so terrible not being able to blow.being a band member it is very important to be able to blow. if not iie will just be a piece of dump!if mr ong or mr quek check one by one, iie really dunno how le.really feel like walking out of the band room yesterday! iie just feel like forgetting about it but iie cant. theres band tomorrow. how can iie forget about eveything when it keeps coming to my mind?maybe i really should have a coma!then iie would not have any feelings.best of all not being able to feel terrible or miserable.that would be better for miie iie think.haixx.i guess there will be chaos again when my dad comes back tonight.he's always like tat.forever grumpy after working long hours.really hope for a peaceful life but iie guess it would never never be peaceful.really dunn understand this chaotic world.its too complicated to understand..why wont it be simpler? iie have been trying to fit myself into this complicated world but iie think iie am going to break down soon.no one can help miie. iie cant even help myself.iie have no strenght le.iie really wanna have coma right now!! forget everything. and wake up only when i lost memory or when everything has settled.if not there would be no ending to my misery.theres too much thing on my mind le. even if you ask miie what are they, iie wouldnt know what to say.it just couldnt be spelled out.iie really wanna be happy but iie cant.haix.sooner or later will end up having depression..