the sunset i wanna watch with you,baby

This song explains my feelings. Baby, i just want you to understand and tht i don't wanna lose you boy.
But i'm soo soo afraid tht you might go bonkers anytime if you continue this way :'(

okayy. I'm sooo tired recently. Guess it's due to schoool reopen and the changes in time table that made me shagg :/
I'm not only physically tired but also mentally tired.
Had a @#$%^&* tiff yesterday. But baby, i truly hope you could understand me.
You did not know how much it hurts me to see you not understanding me at all.
Perhaps i did not understand you as well or, I'm losing my understanding in you.
And, i don't know why it happens.
There are a lot of things on my mind. Like really a lot.
I wanna know what were you thinking.
I wanna know if you do take my words seriously since you don't seems to hear what i actually wanted.
I wanna know if you cherish me as much as i cherish you.
I wanna know if you're still hiding any issues from me.
And many many more.
Baby, BUT ONE THING FOR SURE IS I LOVE YOU.❤
I just want you to understand how hurt i actually felt whenever you start kicking and knocking on stuffs.
I'm hurting.
Just like when i did %^& to myself, you starts your violence again.
You can't take it can you?
I'm feeling just the same as you or perhaps worst?
It's just tht i'm trying my best to conceal my inner emotions.
If i forcing myself to try my best to conceal, why baby you couldn't?
I felt like i was being thrown in a big big jungle by you and yet trying all means to find my way out but i just couldn't. You understand boy?
Take me out. I really wanna get out of this darkness.
I do not know if you really understand me.
But i know i needed you.
I needed you to guide me, getting me out of all this shit.
I wanted a sense of security.
Not all these violence that you're showing me.
You're just making me fall deeper into the darkness.
I hope you could try to understand.
I know you're trying to make me happy and i'm happy.
But material stuffs aren't enough.
I want personality. The basic ones. Just tht.
I'm trying my best too eventhough i'm seriously hurting a lot deep inside.
BUT BOY, I LOVE YOU, STILL.❤

12:06 PM
baby, i'm yours always

Monday, April 11, 2011

ALRIGHT, IT'S BABY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! HHEEHHEEEES!
HOWEVER, CELEBRATED HIS BIRTHDAY WITH HIS FAMILY YESTERDAY INSTEAD!
HAHAHAH. WE WENT JB MAKAN AT WONG KOK CHAR CHAN TENG! NICE NICEEE!
HAD AN AWEESOMEE DINNER AND SHOPPING SPREEEE! BOUGHT BABY A SHIRT!
WANTED TO DO MANICURE AND PEDICURE DE! BUT NO TIME D:
NEVERMIND! STILL GOT NEXT TIME :DDDD

12:32 PM
baby, i'm yours always

Friday, April 1, 2011

♥ 300311;BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION CUM 17TH MONTHSARY!
I'm suchhha happy girl!
Felt so blessed to have baby and my awesome BESTEAS with me!
Early in the morning meet baby! Suppose to go Singapore Flyer de!
But siann! It's closed for maintenance! D:
So we ended up having our lunch at Robert's Coffee!
Headed to Bugis for our movie then back to Baby's house to meet his grandparents and sis!
Slack there awhile then headed to IMM for Ichiban Sushi! HHEEHHEEEES!
Cabbed back home for home celebration with family and baby! :DDDD

HHEEHHEEEES! BABY MADE ME A CARD AND GAVE ME A COUPLE BEAR! TEEHHEEEES! HOW SWEEEET OF HIM ♥
Boy, we fought at times, sometimes a small tiff but sometimes a big one.
I dint know why was your temper like this but i hope you understand how worried i was whenever you acted this way. I dislike the selfish you at times but still my love for you grows the moment i sees your sweeetness. Even your mom felt worried the moment she saw you acting like this. I knew how concern she was for you.
At times, i envy you a lot. Though you had a father who dont seeem to care for you as a dad, but at least you had your mom. Seeing you acting like this, she asked what happen to you, if there is anything can speak to her, saying she is worried for you. But as for me, my mom dont really bother how i was feeling. When we fought, she would only blame me. But yet, she forgotten to hear the inner story. She dint bother to ask what actually happen like your mom but instead poured cold water on me once more. Perhaps she dint know how hurting her words might be as she's probably like this all the way. She keeps saying we would not last long since we fought quite a number of times. But i guess she forgotten to at least sense how much i wanted us to last D: All i wanted was a sentence of concern. Just a simple: got any problems can speak to me okay? .
Boy, trust me, speak to your mom how stress you felt. Don't keep it in you. I dont wanna seee you acting like this, hitting yourself, screaming at yourself, or slapping yourself anymore alright?
Lastly. THANKS FOR THE LOVEEEE & SWEEEETNESS THAT YOU HAD GIVEN ME ♥
ME LOVEE YOU VERY VERY MUCHHHHHA ♥

2:57 PM
baby, i'm yours always